Danielle Henderson is a mid-40s African-American woman who has had a career as an author and editor, and she has led a fascinating life. In The Ugly Cry, she reveals all the pain and hurt she endured as a child and tells the reader in EXCRUCIATING detail stories about what happened, who was there, and how it affected her.

Danielle and her one-year-older brother Cory had a mother who cared more about the men in her life than she did about her own children. Victims of various categories of abuse (including violence, sexual abuse, and emotional trauma), their mother dropped them off at their grandparents’ house one day, and they never lived with her again. Although Dani’s abuse and suffering was severe, it is the abandonment by her mother that seems to have left the deepest scars.

The book isn’t all sadness and trauma — it’s actually filled with humor despite the rough daily life  the author and her brother endured. Their grandparents took them in and provided a relatively safe and stable environment. Dani’s grandmother in particular is a memorable character. As Dani tells it, “I’ve never seen my  grandmother bake a cookie, wear a shawl, give good advice, or hug a child unprompted. I have, however, heard her curse so intensely I swear she was making some of them up on the spot, watched her obsess over horror movies with an academic intensity, and listened to her frequent lectures about the reasons every woman should not only carry a knife at all times but fully be prepared to use it: ‘A man wants to put his hands on you? Carry a little secret knife. Cut his throat. Ask questions later.’ ” It’s a triumph that Dani has made a successful life for herself. Her beloved grandmother, now living with dementia, is still alive and Dani thanks her profusely for helping them grow into adulthood. 

Overall, there is much in this book to tear at the reader’s heartstrings, along with celebrating the success of Dani’s accomplishment. For me, this evoked the same kind of admiration and wonder as other memoirs including Educated and The Glass Castle (both of which I loved). and thanks to Penguin Group/Viking and NetGalley for a copy in exchange for this honest review. Five stars,